A charade in the bar~fanfic

Writer
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Synopsis: And Uruha was 100% certain that Reita had some other business as well...Reita had an amazing talent of getting himself into trouble…


Uruha sighed and shook the glass with an amber coloured liquid in his hand. Then he took a look around the bar and then sighed again and muttered something like „Damn that Akira“ under his nose.

 

He and the bands bassist Reita have been friends for...how long it was? For eternity it seemed. They even shared an apartment some time ago and he knew him better than his underwear. Why did he take so long? He just went to do the small business, but it was already more than 10 minutes since he was away...what was he up to? And Uruha was 100% certain that Reita had some other business as well...Reita had an amazing talent of getting himself into trouble (and that since Uruha could remember).

 

Uruha looked once more around the little cozy bar. They have been coming here after practice quite often, the two of them or with other band members. It was a little known club in a not-so-cool-and-trendy-street, so when they had no make-up and wore ordinary clothes, none would bother them and make a fuss about their presence. Even when time from time someone recognized the rockers, they just politely asked for an autograph (pictures were not allowed by the policy of the PS Company), shook hands and returned to their own business. Even girls.

 

Uruha let out a silent gigglesnort- fangirls...he knew many musicians, his colleagues, who kept complaining about fangirls- but finally, it was them who brought the main finances to move the business, so it was all right, wasn´t it? And he never did mind getting complimented about his looks and guitar skills from a pretty (or from a not so pretty) girl anyway. Fangirls, may they be annoying as they were, simply belonged to the business.

 

He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. „Yo“

 

„Akira!“ the bassist seated himself to the bar and grinned widely.

 

„Did you get bored? Did you miss me, Uru-pon?“

 

„Yeah honey, you can´t imagine how lonely I was… as if.“ Uruha replied with the same wide grin.

 

„So, what did you do?“

 

„Oh, I went to the bathroom, found a nice place in the corner, unzipped my pants and..“

 

„I am not asking that, moron!“ interrupted him Uruha. „I wanna know why did you take so long.“

 

Reita laughed somewhat crooked. „I tried to pick up a girl....“he begun.

 

„Hear, hear,“ Uruha smirked and took a sip of his bourbon.

 

„Well, it was a fail. I failed,“ Reita sighed gravely.

 

Uruha choked at his drink as he burst out laughing...“Wha...“

 

„Thank you for being sympathetic...,“ Reita said.

 

„Sorry, but, but…when was the last time you got rejected by a girl? High school?“

 

„Around that time...anyway, not since I am in Gazette.“

 

„Hehe, didn´t you try to tell her who you are?“ mischievously proposed Uruha.

 

Reita looked at him with wide opened eyes.“It didn´t come to my mind...“

 

„Well, it´s worth trying, isn´t it? What of being a celeb, when you can´t hook chicks on your fame, right so, buddy?“ He clapped Reita´s shoulder.

 

„Kou-chan, you are a genius!“

 

„Go for her before some other guy takes her...is she pretty?“ asked Uruha.

 

„She is..oh, there is she, with her friend. See, that table in the corner?“ Reita pointed to two girls who were in their early twenties. The one Reita tried to hit on was sitting on the right and was slender, long haired and pretty enough to make guys wanna date her. Her fried was more ordinary, but still cute.

 

Reita grinned once more at Uruha and strolled towards the two girls. Uruha finished his drink and nicked to the barman for another one and resumed to watch Reita and his actions.

 

The blond bassist approached his „prey” and started to talk. The girl first glared at him, then burst out laughing covering her mouth with her hands.

 

Uruha heard Reita saying something that sounded like „Really, I am not lying,“ and he saw him covering his nose with outstretched index and middle finger. The girl kept on laughing together with her friend and then clapped Reita´s arm. Reita turned towards Uruha, who was horrified seeing Reita pointing at him and saying something- he quickly averted his face and stuck his nose into the glass.

 

After a while he heard Reita returning to him and an irritated voice saying: „Thank you for your help, Uruha“.

 

„Seems it didn´t go very well...,“ he turned to the grimfaced bassist.

 

„You saw and heard, didn´t you?“ he sighed and Uruha nicked. „They didn´t believe me,“ Reita said and then he repeated once more. „They didn´t believe me.” He pointed to his face. „She said Reita is much more handsome than me and I must be very desperate to invent such lies.“

 

He cursed. „Of course Reita is much more handsome, under the tons of make-up, damn it!“ He muttered another curse in his whisky glass.

 

„But you are handsome, Aki-chan,“ mockingly said Uruha trying to suppress a laugh.

 

„Oh go to hell, would you?“ Reita gulped down the alcohol. „Well, that´s it, then,“ he said and Uruha heard him mutter „I am not so ugly, am I?“ in his empty bourbon.

 

Uruha took a quick glance at the two girls. Damn, they were both looking at them. Trouble. He could feel it in the air. He looked once more at the them. One of the girls leaned to the other and whispered to her ear. Then she threw a quick look at Reita and giggled. The other girl looked at him as well and snorted (at least Uruha imagined her to, because she had a disapproving look in her eyes). Uruha finished his glass and ordered another one. „Hey,“ Reita looked at him. „Didn´t you have enough already?“ „Not tonight, besides, it is only my third so shut up,“ said Uruha and took a long gulp. After finishing the short drink he had a feeling that the world looked a little better now. Well, people already gossiped and made fun of him and his love for alcohol, so why fight the rumours?

 

„I can´t believe they called me a liar,“ said Reita again.

 

„Akira, you still...?“ „It´s not fair. I am not so ugly and why would I invent stories like that? I am not stupid,” Reita went on.

 

„Just leave it already, would you?“said Uruha with a tired voice. The trouble came into sight again.

 

„Why? I am not a liar.“ Reita frowned his brow. „I know what. Do you want to hear?“

 

„No, I don´t want to hear,“ replied Uruha quickly, but without any effect.

 

„I´ll tell you anyway,“ Reita looked with a conspiring look at Uruha. „You go and take revenge for me on them.“

 

„Oh no,“ Uruha so saw it coming! „Forget it.“

 

„You have the new costume with you here, right? And make-up,“ Reita continued totally ignoring Uruha´s objections: „No, I won´t do it.“

 

„Wait, you don´t even know what I want you to do,“ Reita smirked.

 

„But I can imagine it very well and no, thank you.“

 

Reita pouted. „But....Shima-chan..., “ he started, „you and me, aren´t we best friends since our childhood?“

 

„No, I won´t do it,“ Uruha turned his face just to find Reita´s 10 cm in front of his nose. “And don´t give me that big-eyed puppy look,“ he warned him.

 

„But, but, they called me ugly and liar. “

 

„That is your problem. “

 

„But you are my friend and you like me. Pretty please,” he begged. „I´ll buy you ten bottles of the finest import French wine...“

 

Uruha´s jaw dropped. „This is not fair,“ he said. Damn, he may know Reita very well, but Reita knows him as well. Uruha knew he lost the game. “All right, I´ll help you. What´s your brilliant revenge plan?“ This will need another drink.

 

 

***

 

 

“Damn that bastard,” he cursed as he tried to draw a line with eyeliner around his eye. When he finished he looked into the mirror. Well, both his eyes looked a little different (when was the last time he made his make-up himself?) and the foundation wasn´t perfectly smeared on his face (not to mention he wasn´t shaved smoothly that day), and his hair would need a little more hair-spray to take the right shape, but the overall look was trustworthy and the weak light won´t show the imperfect details- he looked like “Uruha”, he thought with a cynical grin on his face. Ok, now the clothes…a complicated and intricately tailored top and shorts…with garters…he didn´t really like garters, but he knew fangirls went insane when he shoved his perfectly shaped and white thighs- it was good for the business. He sighed and finished dressing up just about time when Reita came into the bathroom.

 

“Wow” he said admiringly, “as expected of the dignified Uruha.”

 

“Shut up,” Uruha glanced at him, “I wanna have this behind me as soon as possible. Where should I go now?”

 

“Just come with me,” Reita grinned, “I‘ve found a perfect place,” and went from the bathroom followed by the irritated guitarist.

 

“Here,” Reita stopped. “Just wait here, you know what to do, right? They should leave soon.” They were in a narrow corridor that lead to the exit from the bar.

 

“Ok, and while we are waiting, could you please explain me, why it has to be me and not you (I could make you up and we would find easily something for a nose-strap), who should scare and shock the hell out from those poor girls and make them regret misbelieving and falsely accusing you?”Uruha looked expectantly at Reita.

 

“Well, because firstly they don´t believe me and secondly because I think your appearance will make a greater impact,” grinned Reita pointing his glance at Uruha´s thighs.

 

“I hate you,” muttered Uruha. “I don´t care as long as you do what I ask from you,” Reita replied.

 

“Ah, here they come,” he whispered and said aloud: “Hi, babes. Uruha wants to say hello to you.”

 

It was Uruha´s turn now. He rested his upper back on the wall, lifted one of his gartered and smooth thighs and leaned it on the opposite wall and in this way he blocked the narrow corridor just in front of the girl who rejected Reita. Then he half closed his eyes, slightly tilted his head to one side, took a strand of his hair between his fingers and licked his voluptuous lips. “Hi cuties, how are you?”

 

Both girls stopped as struck by a lightning, with their eyes staring at him and with their mouth wide opened.

 

“I heard you broke the heart of my friend, Reita,” he looked at Reita, “and didn´t believe him and called him a liar.”

 

“I…me…sorry….”blabbed the girl, while her friend just looked dumbly on them both.

 

“Now, you want to say that I make up stories as well and cosplay Uruha?” he mockingly asked.

 

“I..no…I…believe…but..how….?” the girl blabbed on, evidently not in a shape to say an intelligent and consistent sentence.

 

Uruha sighed. “You could at least apologize to Reita for not believing him and calling him names…”

 

Then the other girl took a hold of her and looked at Reita.

 

“We are very sorry, Reita-san,” and she bowed and pushed down the head of the other girl as well, “and Uruha- san. Can we have an authograph, please?”

 

Reita laughed. “But of course, my ladies. Well, we planned to have a double date tonight, but…you obviously weren´t interested, so…here….and here…” he handed the signed photocards to the girls, who looked jaw-dropped and wide-eyed on both musicians.

 

“Well, excuse us, sweethearts, we have to go now,” Uruha said and took down his leg from the opposite wall, throw a seductive smile and a sexy glance at the girls and left together with Reita.

 

Reita burst out into laughter as he got into the taxi, which he called beforehand, followed by Uruha.

 

“Did you see the look on their faces? I bet they won´t sleep tonight.” He almost choked with a laugh.

 

Uruha throw a murderous glance at his friend. “This will cost you more than ten bottles of wine…”

 

“Haha, right, right, as many as you want!” Reita kept on laughing.

 

Uruha leaned on the seat and relaxed. After all, tomorrow he will have ten (or more) bottles of his favourite French wine…just for himself. It pays to be a celebrity, after all….


The End



Just a crackfic

SO IT IS WRITTEN IN CASPLOCK.. de e något Gazecapslock team, så de e lite jobbigt att läsa :p
Klicka för att komma till författaren xD
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wHEN THE BIG-BANG OF rEITA'S RECENT CANADIAN JOKES DIED AWAY AND THE DUST STARTED TO SINK DOWN AGAIN, A VERY SHOCKED AND SHAKEN kAI EMERGED FROM UNDERNEATH VARIOUS DRUM PARTS.

 

"mOO, rEITA-KUN, IT NEARLY KILLED ME!"

 

"rEITA, COULD YOU PLEASE STOP DAMAGIN OUR DRUMMER? iT IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK, HE LOST A HALF OF HIS HAIR ALREADY...WE STILL NEED HIM, YOU KNOW?" sAID A VERY ANNOYED AND VERY SPARKLING rUKI.

 

kAI POUTED: “jUST WAIT, ONE DAY YOU WILL PAY FOR DOING THIS UNJUST THINGS TO ME!”

 

“hELL YEAH, BECAUSE JUSTICE AND RIGHTFULL REVENGE ARE AT THIS MOMENT BUZZING AROUND” lAUGHED ON FULL MOUTH A VERY AMUSED rEITA.

 

bY PURE CHANCE, THAT VERY MOMENT THE FAIRY OF JUSTICE (LE’S CALL HER tHEMIS) AND THE FAIRY OF RIGHTFULL REVENGE (LET’S CALL HER nEMESIS) WERE FLYING AROUND AND HEARD THE DRUMMERS ACRIMONIOUS CRY.

 

tHEMIS SNICKERED AT nEMESIS, WHO GRINNED BACK AT HER AND MADE A COMMENT IN HER i-MEMO PAD.

 

*** (lATER THAT EVENING)***

 

“hEY GUYS, I HAVE GOT SOME HIGH QUALITY WEED, WHY WE DON’T MAKE A PARTY AT YOUR APARTMENT, uRUHA, YOU SURE HAVE SOME BOOZE AT HOME?” rEITA WRIGGLED HIS EYBROWS.

 

“sURE, WHY NOT. aOI, rUKI, kAI?” a BROAD SMILE SPREAD ON URUHA’ S FACE.

 

rUKI DECLINED: “sORRY GUYS, NO TIME, CAN’ T GO, HAVE TO GO HOME AND PIMP UP MY NEW OUTFIT A LITTLE MORE. NOT SPARKLING ENOUGH, MAKES ME LOOK FAT.”

 

kAI BEEPED: “nO WAY I WILL SPEND A NIGHT THAT MONSTERS COMPANY, ESPECIALLY WHEN HE GETS HIGH.” aND MADE A QUICK ESCAPE.

 

sO THEY WERE LEFT THREE AND SOON THEY LEFT FOR uRUHA’ S APARTMENT TO GET THE PARTY STARTED.

 

***nEXT MORNING***

 

rEITA WAS WOKEN UP BY A QUITE ANNOYING AND LOUD BUZZ, WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE A VERY CLOSE aOI SNORING RIGHT INTO HIS EAR.

 

“wHAT THE FUCK?”

 

rEITA TRIED TO GET UP FROM HIS BED, BUT HE COULDN’T MOVE HIS LEGS. aS HE FOUND OUT, BOTH OF HIS LEGS WERE BLOCKED BY A VERY SPREAD uRUHA, WHO WAS SPREAD ACROSS THEM SLEEPING SOUNDLY.

 

“wHAT THE FUCK?!”

 

rEITA FINALLY WRIGGLED OUT OF BED WHEN A CLINKIG SOUNDDISTRACTED HIM. hE PICKED UP THE INCRIMINATE OBJECT THAT HAS FALLEN OUT OF HIS BED AND INCREDUOUSLY LOOKED AT THE BEER BOTTLE IN HIS HAND.

 

“wHAT HE FUCK?”

 

tHEN HE TOOK A STEP AND HE MOANED BECAUSE HE FELT A SHARP PAIN IN HIS LOWER BACK.

 

“wHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!”

 

aT THIS LOUD DEMONSTRATION OF POWERS OF THE BASSIST’S VOCAL CHORDS BOTH GUITARISTS WOKE UP.

“wHAT, AN EARTHQUAKE?”

 

“tHE HOUSE IS BURNING?”

 

tHEY BOTH LOOKED AT rEITA, WHOSE FACIAL EXPRESSION STARTED TO TURN PANICKED AS HE TRIED TO REMEMBER WHAT HAS HAPPENED.

 

…a BEER BOTTLE..IN HIS BED…HIS ASS HURTING…THEY WERE DRUNK AND HIGH….AS HIS TOUGH TRAIN KEPT ON RUNNING AND RUNNING, HIS FACE TURNED WHITER AND WHITER.

 

“gUYS, WHAT HAPPENED?”

 

aOI AND uRUHA LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AND TRIED (QUITE UNSUCCESSFULLY) TO HIDE THEIR GRINS..

 

“yOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, RIGHT? tELL ME NOW!” wAS IT A SLIGHT TONE OF HYSTERY THAT SNEAKED INTO rEITA’S VOICE?

 

“dON’T TELL ME….DON’T FUCKING TELL ME THAT I LOST MY BACK VIRGINITY TO A FUCKING BEER BOTTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” a SHADE OF GREEN ADJOINED THE WHITE IN REITAS FACE.

uRUHA AND aOI NOW BURST OUT LAUGHING LOUDLY AND WITHOUT ANY RESTRAINS.

 

“nOOOO!” rEITA LEAPED AT THE BED SHAKING FIRST ONE THEN THE OTHER SEXY MAN VIGOROUSLY YELLING AT THEM: “wHO OF YOU WAS IT? WHOFUCKING RAPED ME WITH A FUCKING BEER BOTTLE WHILE I WAS HIGH???????”

 

bUT HIS ACTIONS ONLY MULTIPLIED THEIR DIAPHRAGMICAL ACTIVITY.

 

rEITA JUMPED DOWN THE BED AND WITH A PATHETICAL CRY, A DRAMATICAL ESCAPE AND A THEATRICAL DOOR SLAM DISSAPPEARED IN THE BATHROOM.

 

tHE EFFECT OF HIS EXITUS GRANDIUS WAS KIND OF FOOZLED BY THE FACT, THAT THROUHGH THE DOOR ONE COULD HEAR REPETITOUS “fUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!!”

 

aOI GRINNED AT uRUHA.

 

“wON’T WE TELL HIM, THAT THE BEER BOTTLE WAS IN THE BED BECAUSE HE WANTED TO PEE INTO IT, BUT YOU STOPED HIM AND SENT HIM TO BATHROOM?”

 

uRUHA GRINNED AT aOI.

 

“aND THAT ON THE WAY THERE HE SLIPPED ON THE BANANA COAT OF DOOM AND RAMMED HIS COCCYX (* TAIL BONE) AND THAT’ S WHY HIS ASS HURTS LIKE HELL?”

 

tHEN THEY GRINNED AT EACH OTHER. “nOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“hE DESERVES IT.”

 

“aND HOW HE DOES, BOY. lET HIM BE IN DESPAIR A LITTLE LONGER!”

 

tHEMIS AND nEMESIS MADE A CHECK INTO THEIR I-MEMO PAD AND SATISFIEDLY SHOOK HANDS. tHEIR ACTION WAS FOLLOWED BY A LOUD AND DESPERATE CRY.

 

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”

 


New category :D~

Hello :D
Jag har hittat ett nytt intresse :P att läsa och göra fanfics ;) (historier/berättelser om kändisar)
Så jag kommer att lägga upp några egna + några som jag tycker e värda att läsa ;D
(jag kommer att länka till dom som skrivit, så ni inte tror att jag snor dom :P)
Ni hittat dom i kategorin FANFICTION

Jag kommer att lägga upp en SKITROLIG i nästa inlägg:D
haha xD